So the semester is nearly complete for this Fall. I've got 3 classes left - 2 regular (probably studying) days and then the final exam on Tuesday, December 20th. I have an 85% going right now, which is a solid B-, I think. I did well enough on the first two tests that when the third was dropped, it actually bumped my grade up two percent, from an 83 to an 85. Anyway, just a week and a half left, and then it's Winter Break and then only 16 weeks left until GRADUATION! I'm so freaking excited to pass this class and get that much closer to probably being done with school forever. I say probably because depending on the type of full-time job, I may or may not go back for 2 more years if they pay/reimburse my tuition.
Now that I've gotten through that introduction for this post, onto what I really want to talk about. Over the past couple of months, or weeks at least, I've come to find that I like to freak out/stress over something I'm doing in a group that I'm not sure of and immediately start asking "Wait, what?" to get caught up again. For instance, a couple weeks ago, I was working on some homework in-class with a few classmates and near the end I was constantly saying "Wait, what?" because I didn't quite follow what they were writing down, but also because I wasn't just simply LOOKING for myself to find the equation they used or the numbers they got. One guy was even like, "Dude, look. Right here. Just look at the graph we've been using this whole time." It wasn't that exact dialogue, but you get the idea. He was right, though. I just needed to look at the same chart and the equation was just staring me in the face.
So that was one example. Another was when I was playing Garry's Mod with some high school friends and we were making our own cars from scratch. I kept asking my friend who's pretty knowledgeable about gmod (what we call it) a bunch of questions about my car that kept having issues, but I think I could've figured it out on my own had I just continued trial and erroring with it. I don't think he was too annoyed by it, but I did feel bad for constantly being like "Gaaaaah this isn't working... what the helllll." and stuff like that.
Those two instances are what have made me realize that I tend to freak out a little over stuff that isn't making sense the first time around or if I'm getting a little lost with something. It's not horrible, but is an aspect of myself I could work on, and will. Christmas break is just around the corner, so it's a good time to get that shit in order. I've got some significant New Year's resolutions for myself that I'm going to do my best in following through on, but I'll keep them to myself. The internet doesn't need to know everything. I've already got the whole going to the gym and working out thing under my belt. I just really hope there isn't a surge of new people after the holidays that have put "Get into shape." on their resolutions, that's really annoying. Then you're gonna have people in there using machines you use all the time that only work out a couple weeks and slowly taper off and go back to their dumb lives. I'm starting to relate more and more to that one picture of a gym on December 31st and then on January 1st, the former showing almost no one in the gym and the latter showing every treadmill taken up. It's funny, but annoying if that actually ends up happening. I don't work out until the evening usually, early afternoon on certain days, so hopefully that doesn't affect me too much.
That's all I've got for this post. Christmas is just about two weeks away! Whoop whoop!
Saturday, December 10, 2016
Sunday, October 16, 2016
2016 Platteville Homecoming
I went to my older sister's Homecoming field show yesterday in Platteville, and it was really good. We also watched the football game and the Pioneers beat the Falcons 45-14. It was a fun day overall, especially getting to throw a hatchet at a tree that was right next to where Lindsay and her friends are live throughout the school year. Unfortunately, the Badgers lost to the Buckeyes 30-23 in OT later that night, dropping them down to 4-2, with OSU staying undefeated at 6-0. We had to listen to the game on the radio because we were on our way home from Platteville by the time halftime started, and it was a little more than a two hour drive home, so we wouldn't make it home before the game ended. Anyway, one of my personal favorite parts of the day was going to the Country Kitchen for dinner. Not only was my Chicken Bacon Melt delicious, but the waitress was really damn cute. Here comes the best part... *epic drumroll*... I GAVE HER MY NUMBER ON A NAPKIN THAT I LEFT ON THE TABLE AND SHE TEXTED ME LATER THAT NIGHT!!!
...just kidding. I wish I had. She was really pretty though. The more I thought about it on the way home, the more she reminded me of a friend from State FFA band - Colleen. She had the same kind of eyes, and a fantastic body, might I add. I had thought about the fact that I should've put my number down on the receipt before leaving, but I remembered that was impossible since my dad paid for the meal up front at the register. The only way I could've seen myself pulling it off would've been when we left, I should've taken a napkin and written my number on it and put it on a plate where it was easily seen. I would've had to hope she would be coming around again to collect more plates when we left. It's moments like those where I really think about what I could have or should have done, and then can only dwell on those missed opportunities and just move forward. All my friends (well, really just one in particular) keep nagging on me to get talking to girls and ask them out, but I never actually do it.One of these days, though, I'm just gonna be like "Fuck it, I've sat back long enough, I'm done being a child about it. I'm in my 20s, there's no excuse anymore." There hasn't been an excuse in the last couple years, I'm just not manning up when I should. Sure, I manned up when I asked Courtney out, but that was a solid year ago now, and I'm pretty damn sure she both doesn't remember me asking her out and who I even am. It's almost like a chance for a do-over, but there's always that bit where maybe she suddenly does remember me asking her out and she's like "Didn't you ask me out a while back?" and I'd say something like "Yeah, and I thought I'd try again, shorti. That boyfriend of yours treating you right?" NOW WHY THE FUCK CAN'T I TALK LIKE THAT IN PERSON TO GIRLS, OR HER?! Probably because I can't think that quick on my feet, takes my brain a while to process a smooth line like that. Seriously though, that would be a classy way to bring it up again. I honestly might do that the next time I happen to be in her area. Time to man up and stop being a wimp. BOSS TIME.
...just kidding. I wish I had. She was really pretty though. The more I thought about it on the way home, the more she reminded me of a friend from State FFA band - Colleen. She had the same kind of eyes, and a fantastic body, might I add. I had thought about the fact that I should've put my number down on the receipt before leaving, but I remembered that was impossible since my dad paid for the meal up front at the register. The only way I could've seen myself pulling it off would've been when we left, I should've taken a napkin and written my number on it and put it on a plate where it was easily seen. I would've had to hope she would be coming around again to collect more plates when we left. It's moments like those where I really think about what I could have or should have done, and then can only dwell on those missed opportunities and just move forward. All my friends (well, really just one in particular) keep nagging on me to get talking to girls and ask them out, but I never actually do it.One of these days, though, I'm just gonna be like "Fuck it, I've sat back long enough, I'm done being a child about it. I'm in my 20s, there's no excuse anymore." There hasn't been an excuse in the last couple years, I'm just not manning up when I should. Sure, I manned up when I asked Courtney out, but that was a solid year ago now, and I'm pretty damn sure she both doesn't remember me asking her out and who I even am. It's almost like a chance for a do-over, but there's always that bit where maybe she suddenly does remember me asking her out and she's like "Didn't you ask me out a while back?" and I'd say something like "Yeah, and I thought I'd try again, shorti. That boyfriend of yours treating you right?" NOW WHY THE FUCK CAN'T I TALK LIKE THAT IN PERSON TO GIRLS, OR HER?! Probably because I can't think that quick on my feet, takes my brain a while to process a smooth line like that. Seriously though, that would be a classy way to bring it up again. I honestly might do that the next time I happen to be in her area. Time to man up and stop being a wimp. BOSS TIME.
Saturday, September 3, 2016
I did it!
I would certainly say it was a mission successfully accomplished. I logged out of all of my social media accounts on Sunday night, deleted all apps from my phone and all bookmarks from my computer and I didn't have a single hiccup. It felt good to be off of Facebook and Twitter and all those sites this past week and just be away from all those annoying people. I'll be jumping back into everything tomorrow, however, since the break is over and I'm happy with it. I just hope I remember all the passwords for each account and don't forget any logins. It shouldn't be a problem; I'm pretty good at remembering that stuff.
I also finally got a job at a place called Dorner Manufacturing in Hartland. They make conveyor systems and use SolidWorks for designing, and I'm really excited to start working there. It probably won't be until Monday, September 12th because next Monday is Labor Day, and by Tuesday I'll be getting a drug test scheduled. That probably won't happen until Wednesday or Thursday, and I'm sure it won't be finalized until the weekend or Monday, so probably in a week or two I'll start. I'm sooooo ready to start bringing that moolah back into my bank account. Who knows? Maybe I'll make enough to get a zero-turn before the snow falls! That's honestly one thing I'm really set on getting once the dough starts rolling in. I told my parents back in like mid July that I'd be willing to pay half for one, and they seemed fine with it, but that was in the midst of unemployment. As soon as a few weeks go by and I've raked in a chunk of money, I'll be looking. If I do end up getting a zero-turn by October, at least the cutting will be a piece of cake.
Anyway, I'm suddenly very tired and want to get to bed. Goodnight!
I also finally got a job at a place called Dorner Manufacturing in Hartland. They make conveyor systems and use SolidWorks for designing, and I'm really excited to start working there. It probably won't be until Monday, September 12th because next Monday is Labor Day, and by Tuesday I'll be getting a drug test scheduled. That probably won't happen until Wednesday or Thursday, and I'm sure it won't be finalized until the weekend or Monday, so probably in a week or two I'll start. I'm sooooo ready to start bringing that moolah back into my bank account. Who knows? Maybe I'll make enough to get a zero-turn before the snow falls! That's honestly one thing I'm really set on getting once the dough starts rolling in. I told my parents back in like mid July that I'd be willing to pay half for one, and they seemed fine with it, but that was in the midst of unemployment. As soon as a few weeks go by and I've raked in a chunk of money, I'll be looking. If I do end up getting a zero-turn by October, at least the cutting will be a piece of cake.
Anyway, I'm suddenly very tired and want to get to bed. Goodnight!
Monday, August 29, 2016
I'm back. Momentarily.
Alright, so I've might a slight return. This is by no means a return to post every day or more frequently. I'm just posting to inform all of you "followers" that I've decided to go on a one-week social media hiatus. Last night, I logged out of and deleted everything (off of my phone): Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, and Vine. Yes, even Snapchat and Vine. I didn't delete my accounts, I just logged out of them and removed the apps from my iPhone and the bookmarks from my computers. I realized that I'm actually looking at my phone a LOT, scrolling through Facebook News Food and Twitter, popping Snapchat open just as frequently, as well as Instagram. It just got to be too much. I've mildly considered the possibility of actually deleting my Twitter and Instagram accounts, but I've never really fully considered going through with it. I only got a Twitter because, at the time I got it, YouTube was a shit about things and wouldn't allow comments w/o connecting your Google+ account to it, and I wasn't having it. One YouTuber, Jonathan Paula, made a video about the comments section situation, and said that if you don't have that ability anymore, leave him a tweet. I did that and that's how my Twitter came to be. The reason I want to get rid of Twitter, but don't, is because of the reason I got Twitter. The reason I want to get rid of Instagram is because I don't post on it anymore and I'm not a huge fan of it. If I could somehow convince myself, I'd go back to just having my Facebook and YouTube accounts, with Snapchat on the side. No Twitter, no Instagram, probably no Vine either. For now, however, I'm sticking it out this week with no social media of any kind on my phone and computers. I'm feeling pretty good about it so far, and I think I can pull through. I'm not like some people who barely make it the first morning and have to peek.
Wow. That is a HUUUUUGE paragraph. And yes, that was a Donald Trump reference. He's the Republican nominee for President. Did you know that? Crazy, huh? Hell, Kanye West plans on running in 2020. I guess by then, anything will really be possible. I mean, if a sad excuse for a human being is able to run for the highest office in the country, I guess a monkey can be CEO of Disney. They're basically one and the same, right? No? Oh, wait! Sorry - back on topic.
Anyway, like I said, I'm taking a one-week social media hiatus, and I'm feeling great about it. This morning, I showered, ate breakfast, cleaned downstairs, and brushed my teeth. All before 10 AM. Usually, I'd get up, turn the shower on, look at my phone and check Twitter, then do all that phone stuff over breakfast, waste 10 more minutes on my phone, finally brush my teeth, then maybe on my computer, get to cleaning, and then be done. That... kinda had me out of breath just typing that. Yeah, it's good to be away from that stuff for a while. I'm also sick of all the "trends" that are born online by other stupid or seemingly entitled assholes. I'm tired of it and want to go back to the days before all that existed. The days before social media was a past-time for me. I'm reliving it now, and I couldn't be happier about it. Okay, quit glorifying it, dude. It ain't that fantastic. Sure, it's a good feeling, but it ain't like you're going back 10 years and feeling like a kid again. Stop it.
Anywho, that's my big thing going on, besides a job search. That gave me a fun ride this summer. I've finally got something starting soon, hopefully. Dorner Manufacturing in Hartland is looking for a Temp.-to-hire Designer, and a woman at a recruiting agency helped me get there. I'm excited about it and looking forward to getting back to work and making money! Goodnight!
Wow. That is a HUUUUUGE paragraph. And yes, that was a Donald Trump reference. He's the Republican nominee for President. Did you know that? Crazy, huh? Hell, Kanye West plans on running in 2020. I guess by then, anything will really be possible. I mean, if a sad excuse for a human being is able to run for the highest office in the country, I guess a monkey can be CEO of Disney. They're basically one and the same, right? No? Oh, wait! Sorry - back on topic.
Anyway, like I said, I'm taking a one-week social media hiatus, and I'm feeling great about it. This morning, I showered, ate breakfast, cleaned downstairs, and brushed my teeth. All before 10 AM. Usually, I'd get up, turn the shower on, look at my phone and check Twitter, then do all that phone stuff over breakfast, waste 10 more minutes on my phone, finally brush my teeth, then maybe on my computer, get to cleaning, and then be done. That... kinda had me out of breath just typing that. Yeah, it's good to be away from that stuff for a while. I'm also sick of all the "trends" that are born online by other stupid or seemingly entitled assholes. I'm tired of it and want to go back to the days before all that existed. The days before social media was a past-time for me. I'm reliving it now, and I couldn't be happier about it. Okay, quit glorifying it, dude. It ain't that fantastic. Sure, it's a good feeling, but it ain't like you're going back 10 years and feeling like a kid again. Stop it.
Anywho, that's my big thing going on, besides a job search. That gave me a fun ride this summer. I've finally got something starting soon, hopefully. Dorner Manufacturing in Hartland is looking for a Temp.-to-hire Designer, and a woman at a recruiting agency helped me get there. I'm excited about it and looking forward to getting back to work and making money! Goodnight!
Monday, November 9, 2015
Cute Girl at the Hub
So, as you may remember, back in my junior year of high school, I had a liking for a girl that was just about six months older than me, and I asked her out when the window was firmly closed. It was December 25th, 2012, and I was a little disappointed in myself for letting it go so long. At the time, I was really saddened by it, but it didn't ruin my Christmas. When I think about it now, I think it's because deep down inside of me, I wasn't really set on dating her. I mean, if I had been truly into her and really wanted to be more than friends, I feel like that should've just ruined my Christmas, but it didn't. Sure I wasn't happy with the outcome, but it's not like I was dragging my feet around the whole day, looking lousier than ever.
Anyway, that's besides the whole point of this post. That was nearly 3 years ago, and times have changed and new people have arrived. And by new people, I mean a plethora of insanely attractive girls at WCTC. Like, it's scary how many of them there are. Last semester, and my first semester last fall, there wasn't a sight to be seen with the women at school. This semester, however, that has totally changed. Not only are these girls good-looking, but daaaang, they got that booty. There's one girl that I've started to become especially keen to checking out, and she works by the Hub where the food is cooked. She's one of the women who works the cash register. When I first saw her, she did seem like a pretty attractive girl, but the more and more I went down there to get lunch, I started to feel more like I should ask her out. On the way home from class today, I made it official that I am going to ask her out, I just gotta figure out when's a good time. She's probably always there during peak lunch time, which sucks, because I'm hoping to catch her when there's really no one else there so I can either be getting lunch or just go up to her and ask her out without there being a lot of people there. I'm not really one to ask that sort of thing in front of a crowd, and so I'm hoping and gonna start to pray that I find that ideal time to ask her. Not sure how I wanna do it yet. By that I mean I don't know if I wanna straight-up ask her to a movie or something, or just a general, "Hey, I think you're really cute. We should go out some time." or "You know, there's this great movie opening this Friday, and you seem like a girl who loves the movies." even though that one is such a cliche it's not even funny.
There's just one small problem that isn't really a problem, but to me, it is. A friend of mine who I hang out with in our group at school goes down to the Hub with us to get food once in a while, and today he got some food - I forget what he got, not like it matters though - and got taken care of by her. After we sat down, he said "That one girl over there," "The one that works the register?" I asked. "Yeah, she's pretty cute." I just agreed with him because she really is, but that raised a red flag. It means he's kinda into her too, and so I have to act fast if he's at all thinking about asking her out too. I really don't want it to end that way, so I really gotta buck up quick and ask. It's not the end of the world if that happened (which, honestly, I don't see it happening. I'd be shocked if that's the way it turned out.) but I'd really be upset with myself if I let a perfect opportunity like that slip away. I'm gonna be praying to God that it ends up working in my favor and hoping to all that is holy I muster up the courage to ask out that pretty girl. I'm 20, almost done with school, will probably have a great job after college is over, so I'd say it's about time I got down to brass tax and found that special person in my life. This could be it right here. Worst case scenario? She says no. I've had it happen once already three years ago, and look where it got me. I got this. I know I do.
Anyway, that's besides the whole point of this post. That was nearly 3 years ago, and times have changed and new people have arrived. And by new people, I mean a plethora of insanely attractive girls at WCTC. Like, it's scary how many of them there are. Last semester, and my first semester last fall, there wasn't a sight to be seen with the women at school. This semester, however, that has totally changed. Not only are these girls good-looking, but daaaang, they got that booty. There's one girl that I've started to become especially keen to checking out, and she works by the Hub where the food is cooked. She's one of the women who works the cash register. When I first saw her, she did seem like a pretty attractive girl, but the more and more I went down there to get lunch, I started to feel more like I should ask her out. On the way home from class today, I made it official that I am going to ask her out, I just gotta figure out when's a good time. She's probably always there during peak lunch time, which sucks, because I'm hoping to catch her when there's really no one else there so I can either be getting lunch or just go up to her and ask her out without there being a lot of people there. I'm not really one to ask that sort of thing in front of a crowd, and so I'm hoping and gonna start to pray that I find that ideal time to ask her. Not sure how I wanna do it yet. By that I mean I don't know if I wanna straight-up ask her to a movie or something, or just a general, "Hey, I think you're really cute. We should go out some time." or "You know, there's this great movie opening this Friday, and you seem like a girl who loves the movies." even though that one is such a cliche it's not even funny.
There's just one small problem that isn't really a problem, but to me, it is. A friend of mine who I hang out with in our group at school goes down to the Hub with us to get food once in a while, and today he got some food - I forget what he got, not like it matters though - and got taken care of by her. After we sat down, he said "That one girl over there," "The one that works the register?" I asked. "Yeah, she's pretty cute." I just agreed with him because she really is, but that raised a red flag. It means he's kinda into her too, and so I have to act fast if he's at all thinking about asking her out too. I really don't want it to end that way, so I really gotta buck up quick and ask. It's not the end of the world if that happened (which, honestly, I don't see it happening. I'd be shocked if that's the way it turned out.) but I'd really be upset with myself if I let a perfect opportunity like that slip away. I'm gonna be praying to God that it ends up working in my favor and hoping to all that is holy I muster up the courage to ask out that pretty girl. I'm 20, almost done with school, will probably have a great job after college is over, so I'd say it's about time I got down to brass tax and found that special person in my life. This could be it right here. Worst case scenario? She says no. I've had it happen once already three years ago, and look where it got me. I got this. I know I do.
Sunday, November 8, 2015
This Damn Semester
I'm over halfway through my third of four semesters at WCTC, and I'm really pissed about all of it so far. There are two classes that I'm doing okay in, but that's about it. Cold Processes is the only one that I have a solid A in, and the other I have a B+ in. Everything else is a C, and it blows. I really can't seem to win at any of it either. In Basic Mechanisms, I have without a doubt the worst fucking teacher ever. He wasn't so bad first semester (mostly because I didn't know anything about him, hadn't heard anything about him, so I just went with it) but after second semester started, I kinda saw what he was really like as a teacher, and this semester, I can't believe how fucking horrible he is, and how he's still teaching at WCTC. First of all, he's creepy as shit, probably cuts his fingernails once a year, can't seem to tame his hair one bit and makes really weird noises. Also, he sucks at teaching. Lots of times he has to go back to his notes to remember what something means, says "I'll post an announcement in Blackboard and get back to you on that that way." or has to spend 15 minutes going through one simple problem because he clearly has no fucking clue how to do it himself. He spent 10 minutes trying to figure out how to get an answer to something he worked on an hour before class, and was even like "Well, I was able to get this an hour ago." He also uses another teacher's notes for his lectures that he doesn't even understand himself. He'll literally read them word for word, do example problems out of the book, and that's it. No explanation on how they're done, where they get certain numbers from, just, here's what this is, and here's what they got. Oh and he looooooooooves to say "Alright, now what? What do I do next? What's next?" during lecture when working through example problems. Most of the time I don't know what to do because I'VE NEVER SEEN A PROBLEM LIKE THIS BEFORE, SO HOW THE FUCK DO YOU EXPECT ME TO KNOW WHAT TO DO NEXT? Once, just before lecture ended, he introduced these idiotic "Instant Center method circles", and completely blew over the information that explained what they were for, and at the end of class, he even said some people don't like doing those so they just ignore that part. So then why in God's name are you putting so much emphasis on this if students in the past hated them and don't even do them?! GAH he just pisses me off so much, but I'm not gonna blow up on him because that ain't gonna do fucking shit. There have been kids who already complained to the dean about him and tried to get him fired, because of his contract, he can't be fired. It's complete bullshit. I mean, if, say, 10 students gather to talk with the dean about a teacher who clearly can't teach, and they all agree that he sucks, why the fuck does a contract override that? If a school is so "Oh, we're for the kids and we do whatever we can to help them succeed in their education!", then why are they like "Sorry, we can't fire him even though he's a shit teacher because of his contract.", huh? Sounds to me like they don't wanna look bad for firing a teacher because he doesn't know the material.
Anyway, enough of that rant that really wasn't supposed to be a rant. My main point is that he's a terrible teacher and my grades are average because of it. Other classes of mine are kinda suffering. Partly because I'm trying to work 16 hrs/week, also because I sort of procrastinate, but mostly because of that teacher and that I just can't seem to win with any of it. Even with this last Strength of Materials test I took, I was feeling really good about all of it, and then I get it back and I got a 78%, which is like barely a C-, I think a high D+. That's another thing that really pisses me off about WCTC. They use the dumbest grading scale ever. 95-100 is an A (yeah, apparently they don't believe in A+ grades), 93-94 is an A- (yep, 1% difference for the A- group), and then it just gets dumber as you go lower on the scale. And they have these stupid Critical Life skills that we're gonna be getting graded on next semester, which is stupid too. Basically every school I went to - well, Saylesville, sorta-ish - has ended up kinda really sucking in certain ways after being there a while.
But still, dammit. This all really sucks.
Anyway, enough of that rant that really wasn't supposed to be a rant. My main point is that he's a terrible teacher and my grades are average because of it. Other classes of mine are kinda suffering. Partly because I'm trying to work 16 hrs/week, also because I sort of procrastinate, but mostly because of that teacher and that I just can't seem to win with any of it. Even with this last Strength of Materials test I took, I was feeling really good about all of it, and then I get it back and I got a 78%, which is like barely a C-, I think a high D+. That's another thing that really pisses me off about WCTC. They use the dumbest grading scale ever. 95-100 is an A (yeah, apparently they don't believe in A+ grades), 93-94 is an A- (yep, 1% difference for the A- group), and then it just gets dumber as you go lower on the scale. And they have these stupid Critical Life skills that we're gonna be getting graded on next semester, which is stupid too. Basically every school I went to - well, Saylesville, sorta-ish - has ended up kinda really sucking in certain ways after being there a while.
But still, dammit. This all really sucks.
Sunday, August 2, 2015
Really Not Sure What's More Depressing Here...
Alright, so, I just turned 20 today. It's pretty great and all, ya know, finally getting out of that teenage zone and all. I opened up some gifts that I got from my sisters, all of which were very nice and I appreciated. I also bought myself a headphone extension, which is literally just barely long enough when I'm sitting on the couch playing on my 360 (6 ft. and my headphone cord is barely a foot and a half, and the distance between the couch I sit on and the TV is roughly 7.5 to 8 ft.) Along with that I got a Powered Subwoofer for my car. I haven't installed that yet, and won't be until next Tuesday after work, as I don't know much about installing subs, so I'm gonna have a friend who's good with wiring in cars help me out on Tuesday, which I'm very much so looking forward to.
Anyway, on to the main point of this post. I turned 20 today, and in one small way - to me at least - that's a bad thing. I'm 20, and I still have never kissed a girl, been on a "date" (I went to a haunted house with a girl I liked my junior year of high school, but I didn't consider that a date, we were just friends at the time.) or ever had a girlfriend. Here's what's worse: last night, I had a dream that I finally got a girlfriend, and it was fucking great. She was a girl that I knew from Scenic View and is kinda cute, but I'm not fully aware anymore of how we came to be a thing in the dream. I remember I was standing next to her (being on my right), and I was in a line with some friends of mine. I'm not totally sure what was being said, but somehow because of some prior events, it all resulted in her and I being boyfriend/girlfriend, and everyone started cheering for us. I got really excited, and then we actually kissed right away. The funny thing here is, I've always been nervous about if the opportunity ever does arise to kiss a girl in real life, and worried that I'd suck at it the first time around, and I actually thought about this before we kissed in my dream. I was like "Oh shit, we're really about to do this. Well, here goes nothin'." I gotta tell you, I don't think there's been a sloppier first kiss - for me anyway - in the history of dream kisses. I'm pretty sure it even made a noise as soon as we kissed. I immediately told her I was very sorry and that it's so embarrassing, basically just excusing the fact that I totally blew that kiss.
All in all, here's the bottom line with that whole ordeal: I don't know what's more depressing; the fact that I'm 20 and still have never kissed a girl or had a girlfriend, or that I dreamt about getting one and kissing her and then waking up soon after that only realizing it was just a dream and nothing more. I can't tell you how fucking pissed off I was after waking up and just thinking "Really? That just had to be a dream?" I wanted so badly for that to have been real, and so to get up and get ready for the day - my birthday - was tough for a few hours. I remember at the final moments of the dream, we went back inside, she had just gotten done showering and was sitting on the couch watching TV. I went up to take one myself, and I was really excited to walk back down and sit with her, and somewhere between me heading to the stairs and that I woke up really mad after realizing it was a dream. If only that could've lasted 5 more minutes, I would've maybe felt a little more and been even more pissed off when waking. I don't know, it's just... it really hurt to have dreamt that and know that I'm really still single. That girl was cute in the dream, and it just felt so awesome to be in that situation. Like, I remember having her arm around me for whatever the heck it was my friends and I were doing, and I had a feeling something like what I discussed earlier was gonna happen. And to wake up and be like, oh wait, still single, never mind, hahaha you thought you had a girlfriend, it fucking sucks. Then again, my dad didn't have his first girlfriend until he was 24, but I don't wanna be like my dad. I wanna meet someone soon and get a feel for what I'm looking for, not 4 or 5 years from now.
That's my small kind-of-complaint about my turning 20. Like I said, I'm happy to be done with the teen years, but I'm still upset by the whole girl and dream thing. It made me really sad and kinda try and decide if that dream or my single status is more sad. :(
Anyway, on to the main point of this post. I turned 20 today, and in one small way - to me at least - that's a bad thing. I'm 20, and I still have never kissed a girl, been on a "date" (I went to a haunted house with a girl I liked my junior year of high school, but I didn't consider that a date, we were just friends at the time.) or ever had a girlfriend. Here's what's worse: last night, I had a dream that I finally got a girlfriend, and it was fucking great. She was a girl that I knew from Scenic View and is kinda cute, but I'm not fully aware anymore of how we came to be a thing in the dream. I remember I was standing next to her (being on my right), and I was in a line with some friends of mine. I'm not totally sure what was being said, but somehow because of some prior events, it all resulted in her and I being boyfriend/girlfriend, and everyone started cheering for us. I got really excited, and then we actually kissed right away. The funny thing here is, I've always been nervous about if the opportunity ever does arise to kiss a girl in real life, and worried that I'd suck at it the first time around, and I actually thought about this before we kissed in my dream. I was like "Oh shit, we're really about to do this. Well, here goes nothin'." I gotta tell you, I don't think there's been a sloppier first kiss - for me anyway - in the history of dream kisses. I'm pretty sure it even made a noise as soon as we kissed. I immediately told her I was very sorry and that it's so embarrassing, basically just excusing the fact that I totally blew that kiss.
All in all, here's the bottom line with that whole ordeal: I don't know what's more depressing; the fact that I'm 20 and still have never kissed a girl or had a girlfriend, or that I dreamt about getting one and kissing her and then waking up soon after that only realizing it was just a dream and nothing more. I can't tell you how fucking pissed off I was after waking up and just thinking "Really? That just had to be a dream?" I wanted so badly for that to have been real, and so to get up and get ready for the day - my birthday - was tough for a few hours. I remember at the final moments of the dream, we went back inside, she had just gotten done showering and was sitting on the couch watching TV. I went up to take one myself, and I was really excited to walk back down and sit with her, and somewhere between me heading to the stairs and that I woke up really mad after realizing it was a dream. If only that could've lasted 5 more minutes, I would've maybe felt a little more and been even more pissed off when waking. I don't know, it's just... it really hurt to have dreamt that and know that I'm really still single. That girl was cute in the dream, and it just felt so awesome to be in that situation. Like, I remember having her arm around me for whatever the heck it was my friends and I were doing, and I had a feeling something like what I discussed earlier was gonna happen. And to wake up and be like, oh wait, still single, never mind, hahaha you thought you had a girlfriend, it fucking sucks. Then again, my dad didn't have his first girlfriend until he was 24, but I don't wanna be like my dad. I wanna meet someone soon and get a feel for what I'm looking for, not 4 or 5 years from now.
That's my small kind-of-complaint about my turning 20. Like I said, I'm happy to be done with the teen years, but I'm still upset by the whole girl and dream thing. It made me really sad and kinda try and decide if that dream or my single status is more sad. :(
Sunday, July 5, 2015
Working on the Fourth of July
Yeah. It's not fun. I was scheduled to work today for dishwashing at 3 PM, for a 200-person wedding event, which is ridiculous. I mean, what true American decides to have their wedding on the 4th of fucking July? Sure, it's a wedding day and all, but now you have to celebrate both your anniversary and the holiday of Independence Day at the same time, and I'm not sure how that would work. You've got two completely different celebrations happening on the same day and it's kinda hard to celebrate your anniversary when also trying to visit with friends and family with grilling out and fireworks, unless you plan on being away from all that anyway, in which case, good for you.
Still, though, it was a huge pile of shit that I had to work today. It completely blew any plans I may or may not have had for the 4th (I didn't really, I would've been baling hay all day, eating dinner and then going to the fireworks at night had I not had to work, which I actually would've preferred to do.). When I got to work and had been there for a little while, I looked at the run-down of the meal schedule, and it said they were to start eating at the buffet at 6 PM, with the late-night dinner snack at 9:30 PM, and that got me thinking that this must not be a very late event, since they're going for the pizza just 3.5 hours after eating. I was hoping to be done extra early then and be home for other stuff, but I didn't get out of there until 9:30, which blew so badly. 6.5 solid hours of standing and dishwashing really gets to you after about 3 hours, and certainly when you're the one washing dishes for 95% of it.
Now, it's not that I'm pissed we didn't switch roles (me and the other dishwasher person) because I never really asked if he wanted to wash the dishes (he was new and I didn't wanna just leave a pile for him to muddle through. I kept trying to slim the load down a little and then ask, but I was literally given trays, plates, glassware, etc., like every 30 seconds. It got to the point where I almost lost it and started spraying everywhere and just shoved something in the dishwasher and slam it shut. There were a few times I caught myself talking under my breath in anger, but I stopped immediately, realizing again where I was and didn't want to seem like I was getting slightly scary. I mean, I wasn't actually gonna take the sprayer and just yank it around and throw dishes everywhere, but I was so ready to just like kinda say something about work in an unpleasant tone and walk away for a bit. There was actually a point where I thought I'd never leave and just keep getting more potato-caked dishes to worry about. Eventually, however, I managed to sneak away from my position and do other stuff to make it less hectic on myself, and then I went for taking out the garbage, and that took up almost the rest of my "shift" (I say that with quotes because we don't really have shift, we just arrive at our scheduled times and leave when our area is done, and that usually varies with every event.).
I'm just glad the damn thing wasn't plated and there wasn't any cake to cut or deal with. It was buffet-style and they had donuts for their dessert, which was nice for a change. The bride actually came into the back area for a bit where the waitresses walk in and out when they're taking food out and bringing it back in and she got her music set up for the Grande March, which was sorta funny, especially when she asked if she could sneak through the kitchen. I'd just be like, sure, ya wanna do the dishes too? I guarantee it's not a shit job at all.
Anyway, the event went on, I got tired, it took for-effing-ever, I got back home in time for the end of the fireworks, went back home, relaxed and now I'm typing up this post about how shitty it is to have to work on the Fourth of July, at a COUNTRY CLUB. Like, COME ON, WHO THE F*CK HAS A WEDDING ON INDEPENDENCE DAY?!
Still, though, it was a huge pile of shit that I had to work today. It completely blew any plans I may or may not have had for the 4th (I didn't really, I would've been baling hay all day, eating dinner and then going to the fireworks at night had I not had to work, which I actually would've preferred to do.). When I got to work and had been there for a little while, I looked at the run-down of the meal schedule, and it said they were to start eating at the buffet at 6 PM, with the late-night dinner snack at 9:30 PM, and that got me thinking that this must not be a very late event, since they're going for the pizza just 3.5 hours after eating. I was hoping to be done extra early then and be home for other stuff, but I didn't get out of there until 9:30, which blew so badly. 6.5 solid hours of standing and dishwashing really gets to you after about 3 hours, and certainly when you're the one washing dishes for 95% of it.
Now, it's not that I'm pissed we didn't switch roles (me and the other dishwasher person) because I never really asked if he wanted to wash the dishes (he was new and I didn't wanna just leave a pile for him to muddle through. I kept trying to slim the load down a little and then ask, but I was literally given trays, plates, glassware, etc., like every 30 seconds. It got to the point where I almost lost it and started spraying everywhere and just shoved something in the dishwasher and slam it shut. There were a few times I caught myself talking under my breath in anger, but I stopped immediately, realizing again where I was and didn't want to seem like I was getting slightly scary. I mean, I wasn't actually gonna take the sprayer and just yank it around and throw dishes everywhere, but I was so ready to just like kinda say something about work in an unpleasant tone and walk away for a bit. There was actually a point where I thought I'd never leave and just keep getting more potato-caked dishes to worry about. Eventually, however, I managed to sneak away from my position and do other stuff to make it less hectic on myself, and then I went for taking out the garbage, and that took up almost the rest of my "shift" (I say that with quotes because we don't really have shift, we just arrive at our scheduled times and leave when our area is done, and that usually varies with every event.).
I'm just glad the damn thing wasn't plated and there wasn't any cake to cut or deal with. It was buffet-style and they had donuts for their dessert, which was nice for a change. The bride actually came into the back area for a bit where the waitresses walk in and out when they're taking food out and bringing it back in and she got her music set up for the Grande March, which was sorta funny, especially when she asked if she could sneak through the kitchen. I'd just be like, sure, ya wanna do the dishes too? I guarantee it's not a shit job at all.
Anyway, the event went on, I got tired, it took for-effing-ever, I got back home in time for the end of the fireworks, went back home, relaxed and now I'm typing up this post about how shitty it is to have to work on the Fourth of July, at a COUNTRY CLUB. Like, COME ON, WHO THE F*CK HAS A WEDDING ON INDEPENDENCE DAY?!
Sunday, June 14, 2015
I'm back!
I haven't posted on here in a while, but I've been pretty busy these last few months, so that's why. I finished my first year of college last month (May 16th), and I started a job as a Mechanical Design Intern at Briggs & Stratton near Milwaukee, so I've had little time to do things like this.
Anyway, now that I've briefly mentioned why I was a ghost on here for so long, now onto what I usually do, which is talk about what's on my mind (I think, anyway...) and just blog. I've recently had more and more deep thoughts about dating. I've definitely indicated that idea in past posts here about relationships and girls that I became close with over time (One in particular.). Every time I watch a movie or TV show that deals with a relationship, I always say to myself that I wish that were me. Like just this evening, I went to see San Andreas, and there was a man about my age with a cool accent and an attractive girl that came to like each other throughout the film, and by the end you could tell they were together. I worry that I won't ever get to that point in my life, and I won't be able to land a girl that beautiful. I mean, I like to think I'm confident, and always play scenarios over in my head where I would be talking to a girl that seems interested in me and be able to handle it smoothly, but I know that in reality it wouldn't be nearly that easy for me. I know for a fact that if I walked into a bar with some buddies and they all said I should talk with that cute girl over there, first of all I'd have a hard time bringing myself to simply walking over by her, but also not being awkward about the whole thing and asking a really stupid question or stumbling/stuttering or doing something I don't normally do when I'm not nervous.
I don't know, I guess I just feel like I don't get out enough to be confident like that and know how to play things in the real world. I'm not as smooth as these people in the movies that wanna get that girl in the bar are, and I'm not as quick-witted as them. Just like Will Smith in "Hitch". He's at a bar and sees a cute girl surrounded by like 4 or 5 guys, and he gives her some money and talks to her as if she works there, but she then goes after him saying she doesn't work there, and then he proceeds to say "Hey, I know you didn't work here. How else was I supposed to get you away from all those guys?" I mean, I don't think I'd be able to pull of a response or even a move like that. Maybe when I get a little older, into my 20s, I'll develop my confidence around other people a little more and be able to converse with others in a better manner. Confidence is a big thing with women, and it can be the difference between sparking a great, lasting relationship and missing out on her forever to some other guy that has the mark you left unchecked. That sounds like a really cool quote, haha.
Anyway, I'm tired, my stomach is aching, and I should get to bed. It's 1:10am, and I need some sleep. Until next time (Hopefully not too long.)!
Anyway, now that I've briefly mentioned why I was a ghost on here for so long, now onto what I usually do, which is talk about what's on my mind (I think, anyway...) and just blog. I've recently had more and more deep thoughts about dating. I've definitely indicated that idea in past posts here about relationships and girls that I became close with over time (One in particular.). Every time I watch a movie or TV show that deals with a relationship, I always say to myself that I wish that were me. Like just this evening, I went to see San Andreas, and there was a man about my age with a cool accent and an attractive girl that came to like each other throughout the film, and by the end you could tell they were together. I worry that I won't ever get to that point in my life, and I won't be able to land a girl that beautiful. I mean, I like to think I'm confident, and always play scenarios over in my head where I would be talking to a girl that seems interested in me and be able to handle it smoothly, but I know that in reality it wouldn't be nearly that easy for me. I know for a fact that if I walked into a bar with some buddies and they all said I should talk with that cute girl over there, first of all I'd have a hard time bringing myself to simply walking over by her, but also not being awkward about the whole thing and asking a really stupid question or stumbling/stuttering or doing something I don't normally do when I'm not nervous.
I don't know, I guess I just feel like I don't get out enough to be confident like that and know how to play things in the real world. I'm not as smooth as these people in the movies that wanna get that girl in the bar are, and I'm not as quick-witted as them. Just like Will Smith in "Hitch". He's at a bar and sees a cute girl surrounded by like 4 or 5 guys, and he gives her some money and talks to her as if she works there, but she then goes after him saying she doesn't work there, and then he proceeds to say "Hey, I know you didn't work here. How else was I supposed to get you away from all those guys?" I mean, I don't think I'd be able to pull of a response or even a move like that. Maybe when I get a little older, into my 20s, I'll develop my confidence around other people a little more and be able to converse with others in a better manner. Confidence is a big thing with women, and it can be the difference between sparking a great, lasting relationship and missing out on her forever to some other guy that has the mark you left unchecked. That sounds like a really cool quote, haha.
Anyway, I'm tired, my stomach is aching, and I should get to bed. It's 1:10am, and I need some sleep. Until next time (Hopefully not too long.)!
Sunday, April 12, 2015
Furious 7
I regret not getting into the Fast and Furious franchise way sooner than I did. I've known about the movies for several years but I never really got to the point of actually watching them. I remember seeing commercials for each one as they rolled out but never felt interested enough to see any of them. Not until I saw previews for Furious did I say to myself "Dammit, it's about time I watched those movies and became a Fast fan." So I began a marathon last Tuesday and managed to get through all 6 Fast movies before seeing Furious 7 last night with a friend. Never did I think I would/could get so emotional about the death of an actor than I have with Paul Walker. When I heard about his death, I hadn't really thought much about it since I wasn't a huge fan of the Fast franchise and didn't know who Paul was. After seeing all 7 movies and watching the "See You Again" music video several times, I've come to the point where I start crying not even 20 seconds into the song.
There's a final scene between Brian (Paul) and Dom (Vin Diesel), and they smile at each other one last time in their cars, Dom in his usual car and Brian in a white Supra. They drive off together and then eventually go separate ways when the road splits. It's so sad watching them part ways and know that symbolically it's meaning that Paul is going to heaven and Dom is continuing his work. What's even more amazing is the fact that I only marathoned through the films last week, and even in that small timeframe I saw what Paul was like and how he lived life. It makes me miss him so much even though I never really knew him. Last night I was watching the music video for his tribute, and it was the most I've ever cried about a celebrity ever. It hits the feels when I watch Vin smile at Paul's CGI face and see Paul's life in that one shot, and then they part ways.
Like I've said several times before already: Rest In Peace Paul Walker. You will be forever missed but forever remembered.
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